On June 1, 1993 I started working for the company that I am still employed at. It was a summer position meant to be a part time gig until I could find something else. It’s been 25 years – more than half of my life. Most people would view this as a celebratory milestone but I’ve actually struggled with it. I start to think about what else I could have been doing for the past quarter of a century.
It’s not that I don’t like my job but rather think it’s not the best fit for me and never really have. I’m quite good at what I do and I take pride in my work – it’s just not fulfilling at the end of the day. I’m sure this is a feeling that many people have. After 25 years I don’t feel like I’m in a place where I’m respected and valued because being an artist in a non-artistic environment makes you an outsider.
Perhaps I could have chosen a different path somewhere along the way, taken some risks, made some moves. Maybe I would have found my “dream” job or perhaps that different path would have been worse. It’s all hypothetical at this point. I stayed with the devil I knew, chose to do it the best I possibly could and made the most of it.
But you always have those lingering doubts.
I’ve always said what I did for a living and what I did for a paycheck were two different things. So instead of celebrating 25 years of being “stagnant” I’m using this milestone as a reminder to do the things that make me happy.