I talk often about maintaining balance in your life. It’s incredibly difficult to do but today I realized why.
You don’t know what’s happening next.
If there was some kind of way of knowing what the next 20 years of your life would hold in store for you it would be incredibly easy. You would know when to work harder and when you should relax. But we don’t know.
I led a workshop recently about “Going With The Flow” and it all makes perfect sense. I can explain to you all the things that you should do to and how to just go with what life gives you. The reality is all of it could be completely wrong depending on how life plays out.
So my question now is what’s the right way? If you can’t know what’s going to happen do you even bother worrying about it? Do you just live in the best possible manner because there is no way of knowing? The answer is probably yes but I can also envision a scenario many years from now where there is a certain level of regret for maybe not doing things differently when you had the chance.
Is all of this really vague? It is. I know that. I have a friend going through something insanely traumatic that just has me thinking and thinking and thinking. This is how I process things.
Hopefully there is enough here for you to take and think about.
If there is one glaring character flaw I’ve noticed in myself it’s the ability to almost never be content in the present moment. I tend to find myself looking for “the next thing”. It’s not so much that I’m looking for something better than what I currently have, it’s more like once I have it the novelty immediately wears off.
I find this encompasses many different aspects of my life including people. It’s a driving factor in not completing projects I start. It’s probably also a driving force in my lack of contentment and inability to be truly happy.
It’s a heavy thing when you stop and self-reflect. Knowing this about myself how to I change it? I have all the answers to that. I’ve trained and continuously study to help people with just these very types of topics. The problem is turning that spotlight of knowledge on yourself. Knowledge doesn’t equal change.
The cliche “one step at a time” is very relevant here. It’s one step, one project, one friend, one book, one hobby. Take everything that’s going on and finish each individual thing and clear the entire plate. Then be a little more selective as to what you put back on with a clear understanding of why it’s being chosen.
There are certain things in life that you tend to give very little thought about – until it happens.
Today was one of those days for me.
I work as a cheese monger a couple of days a week and today I had a customer come in who is deaf. While she was wearing a mask with an open window so I could see her mouth, I was wearing a very closed mask that didn’t afford her the same courtesy.
I felt particularly stupid trying to use crude hand gestures to communicate. Sometimes I wrote things down on paper and sometimes she typed things onto the screen of her phone.
In the end she left with what she came in for and I stayed with the dose of reality of how difficult it is for those who rely on reading lips to communicate during a pandemic when everyone is wearing masks.
I can’t say that I never thought about this before, but it was my first direct experience. Perhaps it will remind me to be a bit more thoughtful of those around me.
I haven’t written in a while. Fact of the matter is I took on some new work and my time has massively dwindled down to a paltry amount. I still haven’t figure out how to balance out everything I have going on. It’s a bit overwhelming at times and even now as I’m writing this I’m thinking of all the things I need to get done.
At one point in life I worked five days a week with 3.5 hours of commuting each day and I felt like I didn’t have enough time but I could manage things. I technically have more free time than before but I got used to that space in the middle where I was working from home with no commute.
I often mention the shape of water. Water will fill any container you put it in. Often I feel the same way with everything I am working on. I will fill the space entirely. When the space get constricted there’s an adjustment period but evetually it all evens out again.
I know I’ll get there – I just need to give it time.
I may be one of the few people I know that still has land line in their homes. Every time we discuss potentially getting rid of it I ask my wife “Do you want to give out your cell number whenever someone asks for it?” The answer is obviously “no” as there are already enough spam and robocalls coming in and we don’t needs any more.
Today the landline rang and I thought about the fact that there was a period in time where when the phone rang you would actually run to answer it and there would be an actual person on the other end who specifically called to talk to you.
When we’re younger we have a very definite idea of what being old(er) looks like. We are so far removed from it that it seems alien to us and that it’s a person we could never be. As I got closer to turning 50 I was determined to redefine what that meant and looked like. It wasn’t going be the same image from my youth.
The reality of it is my perception of age was flawed when I was younger. My father was still a vibrant man at 50 even though as a teenager we were always at odds with one another and I viewed him as “out of touch” with the times.
So now that I have hit this milestone I realize there is no need to redefine anything. Who would I be redefining it for? Myself? You? Who gave me the authority to even do that?
I think the best we can do is be comfortable in our own skin at whatever age we are. I have redefine 50 for myself only because every day is a new chapter in my life that hadn’t previously been defined.
Have you ever felt like you were out of alignment whether it be physically, mentally, spiritually or your goals in life? It happens. It’s very easy to get off track on what your original intentions were on things.
I think about the analogy of the ship out on the ocean. If you’re off by only 1° when you start if you go far enough you can end up way of course. Periodically we need to stop and check in with ourselves and re-evaluate where we are at with what we’re doing. Perhaps we need a re-alignment with what our goals or what our values are and where we want to be.
That’s what I’m looking at this week because I feel like I’ve gotten to a point where my original intentions may have gotten sidetracked and I’ve begun to put more focus on other things. I’m looking at re-aligning all the things I’m working again and going back to see where things got of off track.
That’s my topic for this week. I’m gonna be working on this for myself and the Thursday Klatch is going to be about re-alignment in regards to our values and our goals and also mentally which is this something that I think a lot of us could do particularly during everything that’s been going on in the past 12 months.
If you’re available on Thursday morning drop into the Klatch, otherwise have a great week and I will talk to you soon.
When we are trying out something new we might “throw everything against the wall and see what sticks.” Unfortunately sometimes it may seem like the walls are made of teflon and nothing is sticking.
During times like these it can be easy to get discouraged. Don’t. Stop and look at what you’ve tried and try to understand why it didn’t work. There may not be a good answer. The trick is to keep motivated.
There are many variables as to why things work of don’t work or work for one person and not the other. The one sure fire way of not succeeding is by giving up.
Good morning and welcome to Monday. It’s very snowy Monday morning here in the Northeast of the United States. I just finished doing my shoveling so this is this is the best I look right now and that’s fine. I was thinking about my intentions for the week, what I will be thinking about for the week, what the Klatch is gonna be about for the week. I recorded a video message a little over a week ago about how we project ourselves to others in regard to being compared by others and how we really shouldn’t compare ourselves to others and I’m thinking about the concept a lot more lately and I’m looking at it from all angles. I like to play devils advocate a lot so I’m looking at what’s the positive benefits of comparing ourselves to others. We always talk about the negative benefits so I’m looking at it from all aspects. So that’s what I’m going to be working on this week and we’ll see where it takes us. If you’re around on Thursday morning, come and do the Thursday Klatch with us and have this discussion. I hope you have a wonderful day and I’ll talk to you soon.
This is a transcription from a video post which can be found on my @meatitate social media sites.